But it was my recent eye surgery that put me on an unexpected path. Going into my eye surgery in July 2014, I had the utmost respect for my specialist, but within a few months my confidence in him plunged. Somehow an ordinary cataract surgery was marred by my Doctor's unintentional mistake.
I completed eye surgery in July 2014 and the healing process was slow and it was getting me down. When my doctor questioned me about taking anti-depressants, I said "I don't think so this would be my last resort. I had to admit I was still grieving about the death of my sister in January 2013 and another sister as well as my niece and nephew who passed on later that year. All of them had faced debilitating illnesses over several months, and I accepted their deaths as part of my journey. All of them had lived full lives and were in better spaces. I knew that my depression was primarily related to the outcome of my surgery and the realization that I could no longer continue under the care of my eye specialist.
I made my way to this huge facility surrounded by large screens. I took my seat, and although I was not physically near the stage, I felt Oprah's presence as did the women sitting around me. I am not a huge television fan but I knew this gathering was something I was destined to do. Throughout the sessions with Oprah and the other presenters I found it comforting to share tears, hugs, sweat and new visions with the people sitting around me. I looked at some of my fears and knew I had to make peace with some of my broken pieces and focus on my inner light. I had to reclaim the pieces I had allowed to stray so that I could become whole again and claim the life that I deserved and wanted.
I left the conference feeling blessed that I could make choices that would enrich my path. I had the inner strength within to heal. I just had to open my mind and heart to new experiences. I left the stadium with Oprah's important message. "... With every experience, you alone are painting your own canvas -thought by thought, choice by choice.''
Each day I began to journal about being grateful. One of the things I needed to get back to was my daily exercise regimen, even though my energy level was not where I wanted it to be. I knew that by going to the gym I would practice Pilates and decrease some of the pain I had. I was grateful that I could manage my pain with natural remedies and as my energy increased I began doing more of my household chores. I continue to look for new directions and paths to follow and am grateful that I can put on my smiley face each morning.
After listening to Oprah's last tape, I am grateful for so many ordinary things that we take for granted - the sun after the rain, the sunset and even the full moon. One of my favorite places to visit is near the ocean and to hear the waves rushing to the shore. It is where I can listen more to the whispers.
The whispers began to take me on a journey to New Mexico to learn more about natural healing for the eyes and in November 2015 I made my solo journey. There I met a group of people with an array of eye problems. Within the first day we bonded and became partners in learning together in the sacred waters at Ojos Caliente, New Mexico. We were all about claiming expanded visions to take on new paths. I am grateful to have met such amazing people including Dr. Berne and Liz Koch who were our teachers. We are painting our own canvas choice by choice.
#gratitude #innerlight #oprah #choices
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